Reciprocal modern love presupposes each ego having secured a definite boundary

Evidence

And as the beloved is here loved not as an individual but as the messenger of a supraindividual beauty, so is the lover himself also deindividualized, because his love, as I indicated, comes not from the creative personality but from his former beholding of the Idea of the beautiful. Both object and subject are only vessels of the Idea. Obviously, love must first be removed from this sphere outside of both of them, every ego must first have found a definite, secure boundary for itself, for love to move on the shortest line between them, as it were, and for love therefore to be able to quiet their yearning only through reciprocal love. — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583

Categorization

• XREF: The ‘secure boundary of the ego’ enabling reciprocal connection parallels the metropolitan ego’s defensive boundary (reserve/blasé attitude) — both are conditions for relating across individuality. — connects to: Modern love is irreducibly bound to a unique individual, unlike Plato’s — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 575; Modern love attaches to unanalyzable individuality rather than to any specific attribute — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 580; Life is simultaneously boundless continuity and boundary-determined ego — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 811 (+13 more)

Related

• Continuing intimacy requires each person to remain partly indistinct (similarity 0.88)
• Perfect devotion of one party requires reciprocal surrender by the other on another level (similarity 0.87)
• Modern love attaches to unanalyzable individuality rather than to any specific attribute (similarity 0.86)
• Modern love is irreducibly bound to a unique individual, unlike Plato’s (similarity 0.84)
• Renouncing ego and control is required for authentic erotic reciprocity. (similarity 0.82)
• Even power relationships involve reciprocal influence between parties (similarity 0.78)

Broader Connections

• Jointly negotiating trust is more mature than passive emotional reliance #expands (0.82)
• Modern intimate trust demands self-revelation that produces permanent psychological tension #expands (0.80) — Anthony Giddens, The Consequences of Modernity, 345
• Primary emotional attachments ground trust that later extends far beyond them #expands (0.78)
• Life is simultaneously boundless continuity and boundary-determined ego #expands (0.60) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 811
• Authentic love requires the beloved to help one go beyond infantile fantasies #qualifies (0.55) — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 164
• Even power relationships involve reciprocal influence between parties #expands (0.50) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 77
• Inauthentic love lets the beloved ratify one’s infantile fantasies instead of moving beyond them #corroborates (0.45)
• Loss of felt uniqueness breeds estrangement in intimate relationships #exemplifies (0.40) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 398