Perfect devotion of one party requires reciprocal surrender by the other on another level

Evidence

It is of the essence of certain forms that they entail complete reciprocity—economic exchange, personal adornment, and crowd behavior51 are examples. In other forms the reciprocity may be more or less symmetrical. In some cases a relationship gives the appearance of being wholly one-way—power, for example—but closer inspection reveals that in some measure ego is being influenced by, as well as influencing, alter. — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 77 (#expands, via linked claim)

And as the beloved is here loved not as an individual but as the messenger of a supraindividual beauty, so is the lover himself also deindividualized, because his love, as I indicated, comes not from the creative personality but from his former beholding of the Idea of the beautiful. Both object and subject are only vessels of the Idea. Obviously, love must first be removed from this sphere outside of both of them, every ego must first have found a definite, secure boundary for itself, for love to move on the shortest line between them, as it were, and for love therefore to be able to quiet their yearning only through reciprocal love. — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583 (#expands, via linked claim)

Categorization

• XREF: connects to: Even power relationships involve reciprocal influence between parties — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 77; Cooperation requires at least one party’s essential action beyond the other’s control.; Reciprocal modern love presupposes each ego having secured a definite boundary — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583 (+1 more)

Related

• Reciprocal modern love presupposes each ego having secured a definite boundary (similarity 0.87)
• Even power relationships involve reciprocal influence between parties (similarity 0.86)
• Reciprocal influence schemes rely on love-like bonds, not on power. (similarity 0.82)
• Renouncing ego and control is required for authentic erotic reciprocity. (similarity 0.79)
• Modern love attaches to unanalyzable individuality rather than to any specific attribute (similarity 0.79)
• Continuing intimacy requires each person to remain partly indistinct (similarity 0.78)

Broader Connections

• Even power relationships involve reciprocal influence between parties #expands (0.77) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 77
• Reciprocal modern love presupposes each ego having secured a definite boundary #expands (0.75) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583
• Cooperation requires at least one party’s essential action beyond the other’s control. #expands (0.72)