Renouncing ego and control is required for authentic erotic reciprocity.

Evidence

Authentic love must be founded on reciprocal recognition of two freedoms; each lover would then experience himself as himself and as the other; neither would abdicate his transcendence, they would not mutilate themselves; together they would both reveal values and ends in the world. For each of them, love would be the revelation of self through the gift of self and the enrichment of the universe. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1883 (#expands, via linked claim)

And as the beloved is here loved not as an individual but as the messenger of a supraindividual beauty, so is the lover himself also deindividualized, because his love, as I indicated, comes not from the creative personality but from his former beholding of the Idea of the beautiful. Both object and subject are only vessels of the Idea. Obviously, love must first be removed from this sphere outside of both of them, every ego must first have found a definite, secure boundary for itself, for love to move on the shortest line between them, as it were, and for love therefore to be able to quiet their yearning only through reciprocal love. — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583 (#complicates, via linked claim)

For the girl, erotic transcendence consists in making herself prey in order to make a catch. She becomes an object; and she grasps herself as object; she is surprised to discover this new aspect of her being: it seems to her that she has been doubled; instead of coinciding exactly with her self, here she is existing outside of her self. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 845 (#qualifies, via linked claim)

Categorization

• XREF: connects to: Moral authenticity requires renouncing possession and being, endlessly. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 317; Authentic love requires reciprocal recognition of both partners’ freedoms — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1883; Masochistic submission depends on the lover’s maintained prestige — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1863 (+4 more)

Broader Connections

• Authentic love requires reciprocal recognition of both partners’ freedoms #expands (0.82) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1883
• Reciprocal modern love presupposes each ego having secured a definite boundary #complicates (0.75) — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 583
• Masochistic submission depends on the lover’s maintained prestige #qualifies (0.72) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1863
• Feminine eroticism involves becoming an object to snare another #qualifies (0.72) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 845
• Power operates through passionate attachments, not just constraint #complicates (0.70)