The abandonment-neurotic withholds love preemptively to avoid the risk of being abandoned.

Evidence

What is going on here? Two processes. I do not want to be loved. Why not? Because once, very long ago, I attempted an object relation and I was abandoned. I have never forgiven my mother. Because I was abandoned, I will make someone else suffer, and desertion by me will be the direct expression of my need for revenge. I will go to Africa: I do not wish to be loved and I will flee from love-objects. That, Germaine Guex says, is called “putting oneself to the proof in order to prove something.” I do not wish to be loved, I adopt a defensive position. And if the love-object insists, I will say plainly, “I do not wish to be loved.” — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 277 (#corroborates, via linked claim)

In a patient of the negative-aggressive type, obsession with the past and with its frustrations, its gaps, its defeats, paralyzes his enthusiasm for living. Generally more introverted than the positive-loving type, he has a tendency to go back over his past and present disappointments, building up in himself a more or less secret area of bitter, disillusioned resentments that often amounts to a kind of autism. But, unlike the genuine autistic person, the abandonment-neurotic is aware of this secret zone, which he cultivates and defends against every intrusion. More egocentric than the neurotic of the second type (positive-loving), he views everything in terms of himself. He has little capacity for disinterestedness: His aggressions and a constant need for vengeance inhibit his impulses. His retreat into himself does not allow him to have any positive experience that would compensate for his past. Hence the lack of self-esteem and therefore of affective security is virtually total in such cases; and as a result there is an overwhelming feeling of impotence in relation to life and to people, as well as a complete rejection of the feeling of responsibility. Others have betrayed him and thwarted him, and yet it is only from these others that he expects any improvement in his lot. — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 270 (#expands, via linked claim)

This lack of esteem of self as an object worthy of love has grave consequences. For one thing, it keeps the individual in a state of profound inner insecurity, as a result of which it inhibits or falsifies every relation with others. It is as something that has the right to arouse sympathy or love that the individual is uncertain of himself. The lack of affective self-valuation is to be found only in persons who in their early childhood suffered from a lack of love and understanding. — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 278 (#expands, via linked claim)

Categorization

• XREF: connects to: Abandonment neurosis rests on the tripod of anguish, aggression, and self-devaluation — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 268; Abandonment-neurotics feel perpetually excluded and unconsciously court rejection; The abandonment-neurotic’s fear of rejection actively provokes the very rejection he dreads. (+5 more)

Related

• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is paralyzed by past frustrations and needs vengeance (similarity 0.95)
• The abandonment-neurotic’s fear of rejection actively provokes the very rejection he dreads. (similarity 0.93)
• Abandonment-neurotics feel perpetually excluded and unconsciously court rejection (similarity 0.90)
• Abandonment drives a defensive refusal of love that becomes revenge (similarity 0.88)
• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is egocentric, vengeful, and self-devaluing (similarity 0.86)
• Abandonment neurosis rests on the tripod of anguish, aggression, and self-devaluation (similarity 0.86)
• Abandonment-neurotics exact repeated proofs before forming any objective relation (similarity 0.82)

Broader Connections

• Abandonment drives a defensive refusal of love that becomes revenge #corroborates (0.75) — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 277
• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is egocentric, vengeful, and self-devaluing #expands (0.60) — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 270
• Lack of love in early childhood causes lifelong affective insecurity #expands (0.55) — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 278