Abandonment-neurotics exact repeated proofs before forming any objective relation
Evidence
The abandonment-neurotic demands proofs. He is not satisfied with isolated statements. He has no confidence. Before he forms an objective relation, he exacts repeated proofs from his partner. The essence of his attitude is “not to love in order to avoid being abandoned.” The abandonment-neurotic is insatiable. That is because he claims the right to constant amends. He wants to be loved completely, absolutely and forever. — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 282
Categorization
- DEFINE: Defines the abandonment-neurotic’s essential attitude as refusing love to preempt being abandoned.
- XREF: connects to: Abandonment-neurotics feel perpetually excluded and unconsciously court rejection; Trust in another’s return brackets absence and blocks existential anxiety. — Anthony Giddens, The Consequences of Modernity, 237; Interaction between two minds cannot be modeled by formal deduction alone — Thomas C. Schelling, The Strategy of Conflict, 368
Related
- Abandonment-neurotics feel perpetually excluded and unconsciously court rejection (similarity 0.91)
- The abandonment-neurotic’s fear of rejection actively provokes the very rejection he dreads. (similarity 0.85)
- The abandonment-neurotic withholds love preemptively to avoid the risk of being abandoned. (similarity 0.82)
- The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is paralyzed by past frustrations and needs vengeance (similarity 0.79)
- Abandonment drives a defensive refusal of love that becomes revenge (similarity 0.79)
- Abandonment neurosis rests on the tripod of anguish, aggression, and self-devaluation (similarity 0.79)
Broader Connections
- Trust in another’s return brackets absence and blocks existential anxiety.
#corroborates(0.78) — Anthony Giddens, The Consequences of Modernity, 237