Abandonment drives a defensive refusal of love that becomes revenge

Evidence

What is going on here? Two processes. I do not want to be loved. Why not? Because once, very long ago, I attempted an object relation and I was abandoned. I have never forgiven my mother. Because I was abandoned, I will make someone else suffer, and desertion by me will be the direct expression of my need for revenge. I will go to Africa: I do not wish to be loved and I will flee from love-objects. That, Germaine Guex says, is called “putting oneself to the proof in order to prove something.” I do not wish to be loved, I adopt a defensive position. And if the love-object insists, I will say plainly, “I do not wish to be loved.” — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 277

Categorization

• XREF: Directly serves the reader’s stated goal: tracing how early abandonment (education abroad) causes the colonial subject’s defensive, self-avoiding relational patterns. — connects to: Abandonment neurosis rests on the tripod of anguish, aggression, and self-devaluation — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 268; The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is paralyzed by past frustrations and needs vengeance; The abandonment-neurotic’s fear of rejection actively provokes the very rejection he dreads. (+5 more)

Related

• The abandonment-neurotic’s fear of rejection actively provokes the very rejection he dreads. (similarity 0.91)
• The abandonment-neurotic withholds love preemptively to avoid the risk of being abandoned. (similarity 0.88)
• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is paralyzed by past frustrations and needs vengeance (similarity 0.88)
• Abandonment neurosis rests on the tripod of anguish, aggression, and self-devaluation (similarity 0.85)
• Abandonment-neurotics feel perpetually excluded and unconsciously court rejection (similarity 0.84)
• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is egocentric, vengeful, and self-devaluing (similarity 0.81)
• Abandonment-neurotics exact repeated proofs before forming any objective relation (similarity 0.79)

Broader Connections

• The negative-aggressive abandonment-neurotic is egocentric, vengeful, and self-devaluing #expands (0.80) — Frantz Fanon, Constance Farrington, Black skin, white masks, 270
• Victims’ aggression gets reframed as the victim’s own deviance #expands (0.60)
• A single event dissolved a long-standing neighborly relationship into expulsion #exemplifies (0.55)