Initial hatred can precede the most passionate love

Evidence

Sometimes between men and women a fundamental aversion, even a feeling of hatred—not in regard to certain particulars, but the reciprocal repulsion of the total person—is the first stage of a relation whose second phase is passionate love. … One might entertain the paradoxical suspicion that when individuals are destined to the closest mutual emotional relationship, the emergence of the intimate phase is guided by an instinctive pragmatism so that the eventual feeling attains its most passionate intensification and awareness of what it has achieved by means of an opposite prelude—a step back before running, as it were. — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 316

Categorization

• CANDY: A quotable, counterintuitive observation about hatred as the prelude to passionate love — light enough to share conversationally.
• XREF: connects to: Great love is tragic because it opposes species-purpose — Georg Simmel, on individuality and social forms_…, 917; Intense romantic infatuation can carry an undertone of instinctive danger — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 222; People can simultaneously dread and desire the catastrophic events they anticipate — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 509

Broader Connections

• Intense romantic infatuation can carry an undertone of instinctive danger #expands (0.60) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 222
• People can simultaneously dread and desire the catastrophic events they anticipate #expands (0.55) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 509