People can simultaneously dread and desire the catastrophic events they anticipate

Evidence

I was afraid, and yet I wanted it,” he decided. “I was expecting something to happen. I had made room for something… .” He knew something had happened, but he felt it had not been real: the war continued to hide behind its ghosts, the world around him went on draining away in silence. — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 509

Categorization

• corroborated: 2 independent passages support this claim — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 509
• XREF: connects to: Fear under bombardment can transform into a strangely pleasurable, childlike terror — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 420; A person can simultaneously feel mortal fear and detached, buoyant calm — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 436; Extreme bodily shock can produce relief resembling closure rather than terror — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 482 (+18 more)

Library Connections

• Passive drift toward disaster can feel seductive rather than frightening #corroborates (0.85) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 293
• Wartime disorientation can dissolve into a feeling of self-sufficient freedom rather than fear #exemplifies (0.82) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 423
• Total sensory emptiness can feel worse than the danger of battle itself #exemplifies (0.80) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 442

Broader Connections

• Anticipatory dread of loss can coexist with intense present happiness #exemplifies (0.78) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 268
• Living under looming war requires adapting psychologically to permanent low-grade dread #qualifies (0.72) — Julien Gracq, Balcony in the Forest, 138