Vidal Gore — Eighteen Seventy [2930]

In fact, New York is now divided into quarrelling factions. The largest group maintains that Jamie urinated in the cannel-coal fireplace of Colonel May’s front parlour. The second largest group bitterly protests this version, declaring that in actual fact it was a china umbrella stand that received the transmuted razzle-dazzles. A small but dedicated sect does not merely believe but, magically, knows that Jamie pissed into a blue Delft Chinese bowl. The identifying adjectives are always repeated in exactly the same significant order, like the Hail Mary. A number of sturdy nonconformists think that a grand piano also played an important part in the sacred story. — Vidal Gore, Eighteen Seventy, 2930

Note

The vivid depiction of the varied rumors surrounding Jamie’s actions creates a sense of disarray and chaos, enhancing the reader’s engagement with the unfolding scandal. The repeated adjectives contribute to a rhythmic quality that emphasizes the absurdity of the situation.