The woman in love re-experiences infantile guilt turned inward as masochism

Evidence

But the slide from generous enthusiasm to masochistic rage is easy. The woman in love who finds herself before her lover in the same situation as the child before his parents also recovers the feeling of guilt she experienced around them; she does not choose to revolt against him as long as she loves him: she revolts against her self. If he loves her less than she desires, if she fails to interest him, to make him happy, to be sufficient to him, all her narcissism turns into disgust, humiliation, and self-hatred that push her to self-punishment. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1863

Categorization

• XREF: Freudian/psychoanalytic account of guilt and masochism, and anticipates later feminist critiques of love as gendered labor. Connects to the reader’s foundational Continental reading alongside Sartre and Hegel. — connects to: A woman’s early erotic experiences rupture her past and shape her entire destiny — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 944; Abortion can turn a woman’s body-mutilation guilt into lasting coldness toward the man involved.; A woman in love feels danger constantly because she has alienated her whole being — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1879 (+3 more)

Broader Connections

• Inauthentic love lets the beloved ratify one’s infantile fantasies instead of moving beyond them #expands (0.82)
• Desire’s failure to reach incarnation can flip consciousness into masochistic submission #complicates (0.78)
• Being loved gives a woman justification for self-cherishing through the lover’s witness #complicates (0.75) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1851