Respectful friendship changes minds more than argument does

Evidence

In the end, it was not the dogged arguments of those who wanted to prove me wrong that convinced me. But the constant friendships with people who did not share my strange ideas and still saw in me more than a crank. They argued with me, but only after they had taken the time to understand my crude ideas. That time, and the respect behind it, and the affection for me as a person were valuable resources that created meaning for me beyond modern myths. The person’s behavior was important, not his views. (Alexander Eydlin ) — Holm Gero Hümmler, Ulrike Schiesser, Fact and Prejudice, 442

Categorization

• XREF: Connects to the motivational-interviewing and non-coercive listening literature, and to the chapter’s overall argument that de-escalation requires understanding, not refutation.