Respect for a husband can itself prevent a wife’s sexual abandon

Evidence

There are many hybrid forms between mentor and beast. Sometimes man is at once father and lover; the sexual act becomes a sacred orgy, and the loving wife finds ultimate salvation in the arms of her husband, redeemed by total abdication. This love-passion within married life is very rare. And at times the wife will love her husband platonically but will be unable to abandon herself in the arms of a man she respects too much. Such is this woman whose case Stekel reports. “Mrs. D.S., a great artist’s widow, is now forty years old. Although she adored her husband, she was completely frigid with him.” On the contrary, she may experience pleasure with him that she suffers as a common disgrace, killing all respect and esteem she has for him. Besides, an erotic failure relegates her husband to the ranks of a brute: hated in his flesh, he will be reviled in spirit; inversely, we have seen how scorn, antipathy, and rancor doomed the wife to frigidity. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1286

Categorization

• XREF: The respect-blocks-desire mechanism parallels the Hegelian master-slave dynamic and earlier discussions of women’s ambivalent desire in the initiation chapters. — connects to: Marriage’s ethical dignity actually suppresses rather than dignifies women’s sexuality — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1136; Supposed frigidity in marriage functions as a covert weapon against male domination — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1304; Wives transfer the need for male guidance to substitutes when husbands fail — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1607
• DEFINE: Maps the spectrum of husband-figures from mentor to beast and their distinct frigidity mechanisms.

Broader Connections

• Marriage’s ethical dignity actually suppresses rather than dignifies women’s sexuality #corroborates (0.85) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1136
• Supposed frigidity in marriage functions as a covert weapon against male domination #complicates (0.75) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1304