Perceiving esteem requires tangible superior treatment, not just words

Evidence

To discern that we are esteemed, we need concrete evidence in the form of kind words, pleasant facial expressions, careful body movements, and the granting of spontaneous favors. Imagine a twist to the Lassie episode where the real King’s Royal Lassie makes a surprise appearance, and the dog-show chairman utters in a lifeless monotone, “We greatly respect you,” yet grants no VIP passes nor hotel suites. King’s Royal Lassie would hardly feel esteemed. … So, even if we are seeking esteem rather than superior treatment, we need some form of superior treatment to perceive the esteem. The demand for tangible status benefits thus can’t be separated from a desire for respect. — W. David Marx, Status and Culture, 65

Categorization

• XREF: connects to: Deliberate small flaws make a persona read as more authentic — W. David Marx, Status and Culture: How Our Desire for…, 271; Tangible status benefits are required for esteem to be perceived — W. David Marx, Status and Culture: How Our Desire for…, 65