Immigrant parents can come to respect a daughter’s independent life choices

Evidence

By now Farida knew Lina’s real story and was always pushing her to call her father. “Haram,” she would say scoldingly, using the Arabic word for “forbidden.” “He’s your dad!” Instead Lina moved out of Farida’s house and in with Ghizlan. But after a few weeks, she finally did call her father. “I’m in Denver,” she admitted, “working and going to college.” She thought he would yell at her, show his disapproval at her running away to a new life—and restaurant work was not exactly a respectable job for a girl, according to her father’s standards—but he was quiet on the phone, and when he came to Denver to visit her, he seemed impressed by her independence. She was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t demand she return home. Instead he offered to pay for her next semester of school and help her with her rent. — Moustafa Bayoumi, How Does It Feel to Be a Problem? Being…, 644

Categorization

• XREF: Connects to the broader motif in this book of young Arab-Americans navigating family expectations against self-determination — echoes the theme of parental approval won through independent action seen in earlier chapters.