Girls are socialized to treat marriage as a skilled hunt rather than free choice

Evidence

In France, as in America, mothers, older sisters, and women’s magazines cynically teach girls the art of “catching” a husband like flypaper catching flies; this is “fishing” and “hunting,” demanding great skill: do not aim too high or too low; be realistic, not romantic; mix coquetry with modesty; do not ask for too much or too little. Young men mistrust women who “want to get married.” A young Belgian man declares, “There is nothing more unpleasant for a man than to feel himself pursued, to realize that a woman wants to get her hooks into him.” They try to avoid their traps. A girl’s choice is often very limited: it would be truly free only if she felt free enough not to marry. Her decision is usually accompanied by calculation, distaste, and resignation rather than enthusiasm. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1128

Categorization

• XREF: Echoes the ‘science of catching a man’ discourse recalled in Beauvoir’s earlier chapters on the young girl, and anticipates the commodification theme central to the marriage chapter. — connects to: Economic helplessness drives young women to aggressively pursue marriage — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1126; Young women pursue marriage primarily to escape the humiliation of being unsought — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1123