Being coveted transforms a woman into an object, which the neglected lover lacks

Evidence

The woman is of course unaware of the seduction she radiates; self-contemplation and playacting are always inauthentic attitudes; by the mere fact of comparing herself to Mme Roland, Mme Grandet proves she does not resemble her; if Mathilde de la Mole continues to be endearing, it is because she gets confused in her playacting and is often prey to her heart just when she thinks she governs it; she moves us insofar as she is not ruled by her will. But the purest of heroines lack consciousness of themselves. Mme de Rênal is unaware of her grace just as Mme de Chasteller is of her intelligence. It is one of the deep joys of the lover with whom the author and the reader identify: he is the witness through whom these secret riches are revealed; the vivacity Mme De Rênal deploys out of everyone’s sight, the “bright wit, changing and deep,” unknown to Mme de Chasteller’s milieu, he alone admires them; and even if others appreciate Sanseverina’s wit, he is the one who penetrates the deepest into her soul. Faced with the woman, the man tastes the pleasure of contemplation; she intoxicates him like a landscape or a painting; she sings in his heart and lights up the sky. This revelation reveals him to himself: one cannot understand women’s delicacy, their sensibilities, and their ardor without developing a delicate, sensitive, and ardent soul oneself; female feelings create a world of nuances and requirements whose discovery enriches the lover: when with Mme de Rênal, Julien becomes someone other than the ambitious man he had decided to be; he chooses himself anew. — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 614 (#expands, via linked claim)

Categorization

• XREF: connects to: Flesh prized in women is that which appears passive, purposeless, and inert — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 351; Woman is prized as yielding material that resists mastery enough to remain precious — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 376; Male love requires woman as an object who remains unconscious of herself — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 614 (+1 more)

Broader Connections

• Male love requires woman as an object who remains unconscious of herself #expands (0.85) — Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 614